the mind battle with physical disabilities

The spirit is strong but the body is weak. As for me, both are weak.
Im indeed in the state of confusion yet I know what to do.
Am I really emotional and filled with negative thoughts?
am I really the follower of emotions/feelings?

Why i cant see it in the eyes of God. How should i go abt it?
Why I just cant love the unlovable with a GRACEFUL heart when God forgave me by His Grace? How to love?

Lukewarm ar Lukewarm. Rmb? God said we can either be cold or hot but not lukewarm. He will spit us out of His mouth.
My God. HOw HOw how?

Humility. Ppl faked themselves by being "shy" or "ppl told me that Im good-> PPL said de, others said de"
If that the case. Isnt it self-praise?

Reasons for selfpraise:
1. Increase Self-esteem
2. Insecure
3. Sense of achievement

God, Jesus, His Humble.
This I wanna learn.