its a new year! 2010. forever 21.. (:
hmmm. today sermon spoke a lot to me.
if only i will have the time to really think through..

Big things and Small things.
Big prayers and small prayers.
prayers required persistence, boldness and shamelessness.

3 things to do in order not to backside.
15 mins talk to God, 15 mins listening to God, 15 mins speaking to others about God.
i used to tell my mehmehs that giving God 30 mins of ur time out of 24 hrs is very demanding meh?

Lishan talk to me lots today, and my memory is failing me. 0.o
but the one of the things that she said is quite true, a issue that i cant forgive myself or.. i cant forget it. my small caregroup that i forsaken becoz of my own emotions.. i keep thinking if only if only if only i didnt do what i did and press on, things will turn out better rather thn now. i know i need to let it go.

God asked me: "ur things is big and important or IS IT MINE?"

during the sermon, suddenly a thought came into my mind. what do i wan for my bday? i really don wan any physical stuffs lah.
I wan a group of ppl to pray for me daily. and this shall be my bday gift.
SUPER SINCERE IMPORTANT, BIG, PRICELESS
i guess this is be best gift ever for anyone coz prayers is persistence....
I wan this.

Hmmm, out of topic for a little while.... just wan to type my frustrations here.
someone asked me this: 'Likhoon, how come u can mix around well with kids/guys younger than u but not older thn u leh?'
i told her i just cant mix loh.
but i think the answer is: 'I cant be myself at all if our topics dont match. No matter how many times i may force myself to go along with the group, i wont be happy.'

I loved to be crazy! i wan to play like a kid! go camping! go fly kite! pinic! underwater world! eat what i wan to eat! i like to go playground and climb up and down! i like to play swings! i like to shout!!! i like to talk loud!!!!!!!!! i like to do knitting lah! shopping lah!! handcraft things!!! i like to cook!!! i like to overnight at mac to study!! IF IM GIVEN A CHANCE, I WILL LIE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND ROLL!!!! talk about the things i like! i don like to hesitate wat i wan to say becoz its kind of disgusting to others. such as leg hairs lah, some education issues abt sex organs etc.. i know im not talking abt dirty stuffs but im educating others! so what wrong with it? isnt it's impt to educate others as a nurse? SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT??? IM STRAIGHTFORWARD!!

im faking if im trying to act happy when im not. why smile when im not happy? why have to lie when they asked me ok a not? it's sucks to the max to find common topics to talk abt when there is none. why have to act gentle when im not?

there's a lot of things i wan to do.. but ppl always shut me off when i suggest!
so. what's the point? wont click means wont click! and forever they wont click!

why must always act/behave according to ur age?
its not that im immature but rather, that's me!
love the way i am but He created me to be.